boundaries Archives

Healthy Boundaries when Dating: How to Set and Respect Them

June 1, 2023

When I talk about boundaries with clients that struggle with people pleasing or perfectionism, I can see their faces clench up. They get uncomfortable because somewhere, they were taught that having boundaries is being needy versus having needs. As a recovering perfectionist, I get it. But that thinking is far from the truth! Without boundaries, you lose your voice and your inability to get your needs met. It's essential to approach dating with a clear head and a strong sense of self. This means understandin[...]

heart broken and two hands holding a piece of heart

Do I Need to Heal Myself Before I Can Date Again?

April 5, 2023

We all want a relationship that creates a meaningful connection, love, joy, and companionship. However, not every relationship you encounter will lead you to this blissful outcome. In fact, you may have come out of an especially difficult experience with someone you deeply cared about, and now you feel alone, exhausted, and wondering how even to start again. I get it. I have been there myself. I have helped countless singles heal from past relationships that stop them from taking healthy risks and moving forward[...]

Is it a Trauma Bond or a Real Connection?

March 28, 2023

When it comes to dating, love and relationships, it can be difficult to differentiate between a real connection and trauma bonding. Trauma bonding is when two people are emotionally attached in unhealthy ways due to the euphoric high of extreme highs and lows associated with ongoing conflict or drama. It’s not uncommon for people to engage in this non-beneficial behavior because they may fall into the same patterns unknowingly -- mistaking the feeling of being “drawn together” as indicating a true connecti[...]

Self-abandonment: Stop Ignoring Red Flags

March 14, 2023

Have you ever found yourself ignoring the red flags in a relationship, only to regret it later on? Or find yourself trying to make something work that probably isn't (or wasn't) meant to be. I've been there before and referred to this act as self-abandonment: being so invested in making the relationship work that our own well-being and instincts are abandoned. The lack of self-awareness of this habit can make us find ourselves stuck in a cycle of toxic relationships. In this blog post, we'll explore the nuanc[...]