5 Ways to Test if He’s “Mr. Right” or “Mr. Right Now”
As a Master Certified Relationship Coach, and as a woman, I believe that when you first start dating a man you should be screening him to make sure that he’s really right for you. We get one life to live so that means the people you let into your heart and soul should be only the best ones for you.
Despite this obvious need for testing far too many daters out there either fail to implement tests or just ignore the results. If you are one of those people who wants to find true love, then I strongly recommend you add some simple tests to your dating arsenal and when you don’t get the results you want, you move on to the next guy.
In my Online Dating Success Program we discuss all things dating. And most of the ladies inside agree that dating is as much about time management as anything else. Your ultimate goal should always be to waste as little time as possible with the wrong guys and spend the most time with the right one.
But finding the best partner for you requires lots of testing along the way and that’s why I have put together some more practical tests that you can arm yourself with to see if your man is “MR. RIGHT” OR “MR. RIGHT NOW.”
- Look at their relationship with the family – “Family” means many things to many people, therefore, relationships between family members can be vast and different. That being said, patterns generally can be seen.
If you’re dating someone and they have issues with one member of their family that’s one thing, but issues with multiple members are something else entirely. If you’re looking to build a strong family unit with someone, then you really need to pay attention to this one and do a little more digging.
If your partner has lots of arguments and drama with his family when you start your family together, will things be drastically different? It’s crucial to pay attention to see how he responds and handles his relationship with his family in these situations.
Has he done his work to separate himself from the dysfunction? If he hasn’t, I think it’s important to base your life choices on “who someone is today” not “who they may be.” In my How to Attract the Love of Your Life Program, I call this knowing your non-negotiables. So pay close attention to those family bonds because no matter who they are, once you commit, they will likely be yours too.
- Babysit for one night – For some of you the idea of babysitting with a boyfriend may seem ridiculous, but in fact, if you plan to have children with this person one day this may end up being a great dry run.
After you finish the night of horseplay, tantrums, and/or adult-child bonding, if you feel that your partner’s ability to handle children runs too dry, then you may have dodged a real bullet here. By taking on a night with the children of friends or family you create an instant, but temporary, family-dynamic that allows you to see if your partner is nurturing or neglecting, that they handle crises well or poorly, and/or they are patient or intolerant.
In the end, good parenting requires positive responses to all these, so I ask you, is it better to test them out for an entire lifetime on your own children or on a single night with someone else’s?
- Travel together – This may seem like kind of an obvious one, but I believe that couples that “Travel well together – Stay together.” A romantic weekend getaway is a good start, and if you can’t make that happen without drama or incidence, then long-term romance seems unlikely.
Still, I would say long road trips in the car with just the two of you, trips to temptation destinations like Las Vegas, or 
challenging trips aboard will end up telling you a lot more about your partner you need to know.
When traveling, you have lots of things to negotiate, where at home, you get into patterns and generally know what to expect. While you travel things are constantly subject to change, which is a good test of a relationship as there is.
It involves communication, problem-solving, and compromise. Questions like: What do we pack? Do we turn left or turn right? Which restaurant? How well do share a bathroom? His reaction and his answers to questions like these, for someone you may only see a couple of times a week, can give you a real insight into who they are and what they are all about.
- How do they treat wait staff and service people – This is one of those tests you can likely start on your very first date with a guy. I remember in my single days, this is a test I often used to weed in or weed out potential suitors.
If you’re having problems identifying red flags then click here.
Going to a restaurant or a bar and seeing my date be rude to the wait staff was one of those simple red flags that’s hard to ignore. The rude treatment went all the way from failing to say “please” or “thank you,” to most appalling behavior like yelling at
a waiter for poor service or leaving little or no tip for good service.
To me, if your partner isn’t going to be nice and polite to someone whose job it is to offer you a simple service in public, then how do you think they’ll act when the job is a bit more intimate and complicated, like that of being a husband?
- The “We” test – It’s a simple pronoun that seemingly should have little effect on the quality of a relationship. The problem is, when it comes to relationships, studies have shown it actually does. ‘
According to the Family Institute at Northwestern University couples who focused on telling “we stories”—shared stories between the members of a couple that defines and guides their relationship—were more likely to stay together.
Another study by University of California at Berkeley found that those who used “we” most often were better at resolving conflicts and reported more marital satisfaction.
So when you’re dating a guy and he says “I” more than “we,” you may have to take a second look at your relationship because there’s someone else that needs to be considered here, “you.”
Click the link to get a copy of my “5 Dating Traps Keeping You Single.”