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Amie Leadingham - Amie the Dating Coach | Master Certified Relationship Coach | Online Dating Expert | Author

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Blog / connections / dating / dating questions / Dating Tips / Find Love / Red Flags / Relationships

Dating Green Flags to Look Out for on First Dates

First dates can bring up a host of emotions, especially when you’re not sure what to expect. Whether you’re dating for the first time in years or just starting to explore the dating world, it can be an emotionally triggering experience. However, there are signs that you can pay attention to that will help you identify whether your date is a keeper. These are the green flags to out for in the early stages of dating.

Green flags are signs that a person is worth your time and potentially worth pursuing a relationship with. They are often small, subtle signs that can go unnoticed if you’re not paying attention. However, they can also be incredibly telling about a person’s character and their compatibility with you. Here are some dating green flags to look out for on your first dates.

They Make You Feel Emotionally Safe

One of the biggest green flags to look out for is when your date makes you feel like you can show up as your authentic self. A level of comfort and acceptance about them makes you feel like you can open up and be yourself.

This can be anything from making you laugh to taking the time to ask you meaningful questions and listening without judgment. Feeling at ease around someone is a great sign that the relationship is being built upon mutual trust and respect.

They Listen

Ever been on a date where the person spoke the whole time? It is the worst! Another crucial green flag is when your date is an active listener. The ratio should be around 80% listening and 20% speaking.

This means that they are engaged in what you are saying and ask questions to help clarify anything they don’t understand or if they want you to elaborate to get to know your likes and dislikes better. Active listeners pay attention to your body language and learn what is most important to you in order to find ways to respond thoughtfully.

You may be wondering where to meet partners like this. In this video I share my favorite 3 dating apps!

[Article Continued Below]

 

They Treat Others with Kindness

The way your date treats others can be an excellent reflection of their character. In my Conscious Dating Programs, I discuss the difference of being kind vs nice.

Some people operate from the place of being nice, which is people pleasing, or even love bombing behaviors. For example, your date is nice to you but treats the waiter like dirt. These people tend to stop being nice once they have met their goal of getting your attention. Nice is temporary with attachments, vs. kindness comes from truth, has boundaries, and is long-lasting.

Remember, kindness towards the waiter, bartender or hostess is a sign that your date is empathetic and has high emotional intelligence. They will likely treat you well too.

They Express their Values

Green flags also include when your date is open about their values and their non-negotiables. They have done enough self-reflection work to understand what is important to them in a relationship and a partner.

This shows they care about things beyond themselves and are invested in the relationships around them. Sharing values, like whether they want a family or not, what passions they have in life, or where they see themselves five years form now, can lead to meaningful conversations and a deeper understanding of one another.

Remember, dating is a process of exploration, be kind to yourself, and don’t be afraid to take your time to find the person who is right for you. If you struggle with making a deeper connection and understanding what green flags you should look out for, I can help. Book a relationship readiness review with me here.

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Speak Up to Express Your Needs! Ever notice how waiting for “the right time” to express your needs often means they never get addressed? I share my journey of realizing that while we should avoid conversations when emotions are flooding, consistently postponing our needs leads to dangerous resentment. Learn the balance between giving space during heightened emotions and still honoring your boundaries through calm, intentional conflict. Discover how speaking up prevents resentment while still respecting emotional states—a critical skill for healthier relationships. #RelationshipAdvice #HealthyBoundaries #ExpressingNeeds #EmotionalRegulation #PreventingResentment #HealthyConflict #RelationshipCommunication #EmotionalIntelligence #SettingBoundaries #ConflictResolution #RelationshipTips #EmotionalFlooding #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipPsychology #CalmDiscussions #AvoidingResentment #HealthyArguing #RelationshipHealing #CommunicationSkills #EmotionalAwareness
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When we truly become still and listen to understand others, something magical happens. By setting aside our mental chatter and focusing completely on what someone else is saying, we create a space of genuine connection. Active listening isn’t just waiting for your turn to speak. It’s being fully present—noticing not just their words, but their tone, their body language, what remains unsaid. When we listen this deeply to others, we’re actually strengthening our ability to tune into our own inner voice. Think about it: each time you quiet your mind to truly hear someone else, you’re practicing the very skill needed to hear yourself clearly. The mental stillness required for deep listening becomes a pathway to self-understanding. Try this today: in your next conversation, take a deep breath and intentionally slow down. Notice when your mind starts forming responses before they’ve finished speaking. Gently return to simply being with their words. This same practice of quieting the noise helps us recognize our own inner wisdom when we need it most. The gift of your complete attention is precious—both to others and to yourself. #DeepListening #ActiveListening #InnerVoice #BeStill #MindfulConnections #ListenToUnderstand #MentalStillness #PresentMoment #ConsciousConversation #SelfAwareness #MindfulListening #AuthenticConnection #SlowDown #QuietTheMind #ListeningSkills #RelationshipWisdom #EmotionalIntelligence #MindfulCommunication #SoulfulListening #InnerWisdom
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Being Too Understanding? It’s Hurting You! 🥹 There’s a fine line between being compassionate and being a doormat. Learn when empathy goes too far! #lackofboundaries #lackofrespect #peoplepleasing #letthem #mentalhealth #selfawareness #datingadvice
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Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

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I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
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I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them! Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕 #datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
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Ever noticed someone who wasn’t “traditionally attractive” yet somehow drew everyone’s attention? It wasn’t luck or accident—it was something much deeper.

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👉 Read the full blog at AmieTheDatingCoach.com or click the link in my bio!

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Ever noticed someone who wasn’t “traditionally attractive” yet somehow drew everyone’s attention? It wasn’t luck or accident—it was something much deeper. The most magnetic people aren’t worried about looking perfect or saying all the “right” things. They’ve mastered something far more powerful... and I’m sharing my top 5 attraction secrets in my latest blog. Want to know what singles consistently tell me are the most attractive qualities they find in potential partners? The answers might surprise you (and free you from so many unnecessary insecurities!) 👉 Read the full blog at AmieTheDatingCoach.com or click the link in my bio! #DatingAdvice #AttractionTips #DatingCoach #RelationshipGoals #AuthenticDating #SelfConfidence #DatingTips
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