Top 5 Dating Rules for Single Moms

Many of my clients fall into that often overlooked dating camp of the single mom. And with over 10 million mothers are leading families in the US, currently accounting for 25% of all families, the single mom has become a significant part of the dating pool.

For most singles, dating can sometimes be a chore, but there are definitely unique issues that come with dating while simultaneously raising a child.

As a Master Certified Relationship Coach, I have seen first-hand how much turmoil comes with juggling the dating life and the family life.

That’s why I wanted to take a few moments to write about some of the essential rules for dating when you are a single mom.

1) Own Your Single-momness 

Quality dating begins and ends with owning your own situation in life. Many single moms are so bogged down with the fact that they are a “single mom”, that they honestly feel that it’s the only thing that defines them.

Let me be the first to say, children never impede your dating life, only YOU do. Many times I have heard clients say, “But who would want to date me. I have three kids.”

And I always respond with the same question. If you were single with no children and you met a man who treated you wonderfully, you had fun with, and filled all your other desires would you date him?

Their answer is always the same. “Of course I would.” The fact of the matter is there are plenty of single men with and without their own children who are ok dating a woman with children.

So own your life and everything and everyone in it because guess what, when you find the right man, he will too.

2)  Slow Things Down to Speed Things Up

I have seen far too many single moms get so excited about a new man in their life that they immediately jump right into things.

Whether that is getting physical too fast or introducing them too quickly to their children in this dating game, speed kills (the relationship that is).

In my Conscious Dating Programs, I teach singles that non-negotiables (aka deal-breakers) are the core values that must exist in a relationship or else the relationship will fail.

They are not things like, “he’s over 6’0” tall” or “he drives a nice car”. Instead, they are things like “he treats me like a priority” or “he is ambitious and has goals”.

When you date someone and understand your relationship non-negotiables, you can test them against your dates core values and when everything aligns, you’ll know you’re meant to be together.

Then it’s good time to start integrating your children.

3)   Do the First Intro Right

When you are ready to introduce a new man into your family life, it’s important that you do so the right way and at the right time.

First, you must make sure you are BOTH on the same page in this relationship. It’s not just about you here and what

you feel or vice-versa, sit down and talk with the prospective suitor about all the things that will happen moving forward.

Make sure expectations and timelines are set. And most importantly, take things slow.

4) Your Children Are IN Your Life, They Don’t RUN It

Once the introduction is done, it’s ok to get a little feedback from your children, but make sure that you take their feedback as feedback, not gospel.

If the first introduction didn’t go well that doesn’t mean the second or third won’t.

So be patient and pay attention to the way both your prospective partner and your children are acting around each other.

5) Do Not Settle

Finding a man who accepts you as a single mom and even loves your children is great, but unless you are the chooser in this relationship and he meets all your relationship non-negotiables (aka deal-breakers) then eventually the relationship will fail.

This may seem obvious, but being a good single is about knowing what’s best for you, not only what’s best for your children.

If your struggling with making yourself a priority, feeling like you lost yourself or even going through a separation. I definitely can help, schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review here.