5 Valuable Stats About Singles You Should Know
Many of you may not be aware of this, but the week of September 20, 2015 is UNMARRIED & SINGLES WEEK in the US. It’s and entire weeks dedicated to the celebration of that oft-too forgotten segment of our country… the men and women who choose to, or happen to find themselves single. Being single in America has the unusual distinction of being both coveted by some while reviled by others.
It can mark a time in one’s life when they are free and happy to live a life they want and enjoy It can also be an ill-fated smudge on their very identity that they just wish they could just wash off. From the time we are small children our society places an extreme amount of pressure on us for the adult version of ourselves to not only, find a quality partner and commit to them, but also to maintain it for a lifetime.
Despite a divorce rate that hovers between 40-50%, being single just is not given enough respect in America. As a Relationship Coach I teach my Conscious Dating Program because I want everyone to experience love and all the wonderful things that come with it, but at the same time I want every single out there to be able to enjoy their single life and embrace it with the same passion and vigor so many out there do with love. That’s part of my job, to give you the power to do just that.
As of August 2014 there were 124.6 million single Americans— accounting for 50.2 percent of age 16-and-over 
population. There are a lot of you out there and I am here to reiterate that being single is not a curse, rather an opportunity to live, learn, and grow into the best person you can be. And eventually, if you choose to make the plunge into coupledom, then I support you in that adventure too.
So to honor all you singles out there during this momentous week I have compiled some of the most interesting facts and discussion points I can find and want to share them with you. So here are 5 Interesting Stats About Singles You Should Know to celebrate unmarried & singles week.
Sex
Many of you have heard of the 3-date rule, which stipulates that a person wait at least 3 dates before they go to bed with someone. Surprisingly, this “rule” is not far off what the actual numbers say. Recent studies have shown that on average couple waits 3-5 dates to have sex, and pending the speed of the relationship this can take anywhere from a few weeks to a month or more. But if you are one of those singles who is looking to get into a committed long-term relationship you should consider some information from another interesting study.
According to the American Psychological Association’s Journal of Family Psychology, couples who wait until marriage to engage in sex report to have 20% higher relationship satisfaction, 22% less consideration of divorce and 15% better sexual quality. Now, I am not suggesting you should wait or not wait to have sex before you get married, but the numbers do serve up an interesting topic for discussion if nothing else.
I feel it’s never about “When”, rather “Why?” You should always factor in your short-term and long-term goals with this person and your overall comfort level with them and your relationship. So next time you are making the decision to have sex with someone I invite you not to ask the question, “When should I have sex with this person?” instead ask yourself, “Am I ready to have sex with them?”
Online Dating Stats
Given that humankind has been around for thousands of years, online dating is a relatively new way to meet people, not really taking a strong foothold in our culture until the late 1990s. Today, statistics show about 1 in 4 committed couples met their significant other online, and those numbers are growing. For any of you who have entered into the online dating world, it comes with a myriad of experiences.
Some good, some not so good. I, myself, have experienced both ends of that spectrum, but about 4 years ago I walked away with the best results ever in that I met my husband online. The value is clear, convenience, a simple sorting system, and lots of choices. Before you make a decision as to where to go to try to attract a new partner I think it’s important to do your research and find out more about the sites you are proposing to join. One estimate puts the number of dating sites currently out there at over 2500. That’s a lot of choices. But what exactly does each of these sites offer you? Here are some statistics.
Online Dating Site %Female %Male Ratio (Female/Male)
1) Chemistry.com 71.8 28.2 2.546
2) eHarmony 68.6 31.4 2.185
3) Match.com 55.0 45.0 1.222
4) Yahoo! Personals 48.6 51.4 0.946
Online Dating Site Approximate Average Age Range (Yrs.)
1) eHarmony 35 through 54 years of age
2) Chemistry.com 33 through 52 years of age
3) Yahoo! Personals 21 through 40 years of age
4) Match.com 21 through 30 years of age
*Info from http://www.webpersonalsonline.com/
The important thing to take away from these stats is to know whom you are trying to attract and put yourself in the best position to succeed. With a little research you can find out things that can really affect your dating experience. Look for things like where most members live, what is the median age range, the cost per month, does the site carry a subgroup you enjoy (i.e. religious affiliation, hobbies, jobs, etc.) So get out there and date, just make sure you’re armed with the best tools and put yourself in the best landscape for success.
First Impressions
They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression and when it comes to dating, those first impressions can have an enormous impact on your life. Psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania, studied data from over 10,000 speed daters and found that most people make a decision regarding a person’s attraction within the first three seconds of meeting.
Think about it. 3 seconds! What can a person really know about you in 3 seconds? In reality, it doesn’t matter because 
they are the ones making the decision and from that can do as they choose (i.e. choose to date you or not). You are just the one making the impression. And if you are one of the unfortunate ones who made a bad impression, you have just lost a dating opportunity. Outside of the speed-dating world, studies find that it takes about 1 hour for a woman to determine whether or not she wants to date a man again. A man decides in 15 minutes. And what you wear is part of the equation.
According to Match.com men are more likely to judge dates by their tattoos (62 percent) than their shoes (25 percent). On the flip side, women are more likely to judge based on clothes (68 percent) than cars (40 percent). As human beings we actually do most of our communication non-verbally. One study showed that because of this most, women (57%) said that their first impressions of a guy are based off of his body language and the way he presents himself. 38% judged him on how he speaks and 7% are concerned about what he said. So what does this time crunch data tell us? Basically, that when it comes to attracting a partner, you want to always try to look your best, present yourself to them in the best light, and do it as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Paying On The First Date
I understand that there are many different viewpoints when it comes to dating etiquette. One of the big ones for me is who should pay on a first date. As far as who pays, Match.com. between 2010 and 2012, the number of people who said that whoever did the asking should do the paying went up from 21% to 32%, 50%. That’s just in two years. Now this does not take into account the age of who is being asked the question. My guess is the younger daters are really leading the way on this trend.
Nerdwallet polled 1000 people in their own study and found 77.4% of people in a relationship believe men should pay the bill on a first date. Over 75% of men report they still feel guilty accepting women’s money, according to research by Janet Lever, a professor of sociology at California State University, Los Angeles. She studied relationship trends for years and surveyed over 17,000 people. Lever has found the modern dating world looks like this: About 10% of heterosexual daters are looking for something very traditional where the man pays for everything. Another 10% are looking for 50/50 from the very first date. The rest are somewhere in between.
Overall, the stats seem to conflict a bit, but for me, as a traditional woman, I always want my first date to pay for me. Luckily for my husband and I, he did just that. Whatever your feeling is on this matter, make sure you stick to your guns, it’s whatever you feel you want and need to make you happy and feel comfortable.
Women Should Ask Men Out
According to a survey from Match.com, of 5,000 single men and women, 65%of guys have been asked out by a woman and 91% of men are good with a woman making the first move. The survey also found that 56% of women reached out to a guy following a first date and 40% say they initiate sex with their partner (which is a 14% increase from 2011’s results of 26%).
This is one area where my traditional values when it comes to dating differ from the need for a person to get what they want out of love. I feel if a woman wants to make the first move, by all means she should, if she is getting the signal that the guy is interested but shy. If the goal is to get out there dating, I don’t feel a woman should be held back by the societal handcuff of not being able to go out and get what she wants. The numbers seem to indicate that Men are still in the driver’s seat when it comes to asking, but there is not reason that a woman shouldn’t be able to jump in and do a test drive every once in a while.
I hope you found some of this information interesting if not useful in your dating life. So get out there, enjoy the week, have some fun, and enjoy your time being single. Want more of my latest dating articles and tips? Sign up for my newsletter here.