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Amie Leadingham - Amie the Dating Coach | Master Certified Relationship Coach | Online Dating Expert | Author

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Blog / boundaries / Red Flags / Relationships

5 Signs You Are Dealing with Breadcrumbing: Protect Your Heart

In modern dating, breadcrumbing has become a significant issue that singles need to be aware of. You may have fallen victim to it yourself, and you may have not even know it. Breadcrumbing is a term used to describe the act of giving someone just enough attention to keep them interested without any real commitment. 

It’s easy to miss the signs of breadcrumbing when you’re emotionally invested, so in this post, we’ll show you 5 signs that you are being breadcrumbed so that you can protect your heart.

You’re doing all the work: 

One of the signs that you’re being breadcrumbed is when you’re putting in all the effort. You’re the one who’s always initiating conversations, making plans, and trying to get together, but the other person is always busy or makes excuses.

You begin to resent the person for not making the effort to make you a priority, too. If you feel like you’re the only one putting in any effort to sustain the relationship, chances are you’re being breadcrumbed.

You’re on the bench: 

If you’re constantly on the bench waiting for the other person to make a move and waiting for their phone call, you’re probably being breadcrumbed. Being on the bench means you’re waiting for them to make a move or make plans, but they never come through with what they promised, leaving you feeling disappointed and confused.

The lack of clarity can tear your confidence and make you start thinking that maybe you did something wrong when you haven’t. 

You’re their backup plan: 

Another clear sign of breadcrumbing is when you’re always a backup plan. You’re never their first choice, but they’ll call you when they’re bored or have nothing else to do.

They may even go as far as canceling plans with you at the last minute because someone else came up with something better. It’s heartbreaking as it leaves you in so much anxiety feeling like sometimes you are valued and other times you are discarded. 

They keep things vague: 

When someone is breadcrumbing you, the conversations are never clear. They’ll reply to your message with a vague answer or leave things open-ended, so you’re left wondering what’s going on. They will send future messages like, I miss you, and we should get together.

But when you ask for a specific date and time, they ghost you. If they keep things vague and don’t give you a direct answer or commitment, chances are they’re stringing you along.

I talk in depth about this my recent video here!

[Article Continued Below]

 

They’re hot and cold: 

Finally, one of the most common signs of breadcrumbing is when someone is hot and cold with you. One day, they’ll be all over you, sending romantic messages and giving you all of their attention, and the next day, they’re ghosting you.

In reality, they are just looking to get their fix of attention as well, once they get what they need, they discard. This type of behavior leaves you feeling confused, frustrated, and wondering what you did wrong.

Breadcrumbing is emotionally draining and can be challenging to detect, especially if you’re in the early stages of dating. By knowing the signs of breadcrumbing, you can protect your heart and move on from someone who doesn’t value you. 

Remember, you deserve someone who gives you their full attention and is committed to building a genuine relationship with you. Don’t settle for less, and don’t let anyone drag you along. Stay strong, stay true to yourself, and believe that the right person will come along at the right time, and it will be worth the wait.

And if you need support in avoiding these types of relationships, schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review with me here. 

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Today I’m humbled to share that @feedspotdotcom included me in their Top 70 Dating Instagram Influencers of 2026. 

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