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Blog / Self Care / Self Esteem

5 Signs You’re Being Too Nice & What to Do About It

Being a kind and compassionate person is definitely a positive trait, but what happens when being “too nice” starts to negatively impact your life and relationships? Being too nice can lead to people taking advantage of you and not valuing your efforts. 

This can lead to frustration and resentment as you can’t understand why someone would treat you that way after all you have done for them. 

If you’re a single person who always puts others first, it’s possible that being too nice is the reason why you’re still single. Today, we’ll discuss five signs that you might be too nice and what you can do to make a positive change in your life for the new year!

You have a hard time saying “no”

One of the first signs that you’re too nice is that you have a difficult time saying no to other people. You might agree to go on a date with someone you’re not really interested in solely to avoid hurting their feelings. 

Maybe you’re always the person who volunteers to take on extra work at your job, even though it’s not your job to do so. Learning to set healthy boundaries is a crucial step in breaking the cycle of being too nice. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your own needs and desires.

You apologize unnecessarily

Another sign that you’re too nice is that you apologize for things that are not your fault. For example, if someone else bumps into you, you might apologize for being in their way. Or, if someone is having a bad day, you might apologize as if it’s your fault. 

It’s okay to take accountability when you have made a mistake but constantly apologizing for things you didn’t do may show a sign of insecurity. 

Don’t take on other people’s problems as your own; you can empathize, but don’t apologize. This can be a difficult habit to break, but with practice, you can learn to only apologize when it’s truly necessary. 

You avoid conflict at all costs

If you’re someone who always tries to avoid conflict, it might be a sign that you’re too nice. While it’s understandable to want to keep things peaceful, avoiding conflict can be detrimental to your relationships. What you resist will persist.

Sometimes, disagreements are necessary in order to reach a resolution or come to a compromise. Learning to stand up for yourself, voice your needs, and communicate effectively can greatly improve your relationships. Remember, you teach people how to treat you. It’s up to you to be transparent about what works for you so they can understand your boundaries. 

If you find yourself avoiding conflict, it may be connected to your innerchild. Check out this video to learn more!

[Video Continued Below]

 

You constantly put others before yourself

One of the biggest signs that you’re too nice is that you constantly prioritize other people’s needs before your own. This can lead to feelings of resentment and burnout. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to take care of yourself first. You need to make space for yourself before you can hold space for others. 

Learning how to say NO when you don’t feel like doing something or taking a moment to check in with your values before saying yes to another thing is the key to prioritizing yourself. This might mean taking a break from socializing when you need some alone time, or declining an invitation to do something that you don’t feel like doing.

You avoid expressing your true thoughts and feelings

Lastly, if you’re always hiding your true thoughts and feelings in order to avoid offending or upsetting others, you’re likely too nice. This is the number one dating issue that stops singles from finding love. I call this the Marketing Trap, where a person morphs and hides their authentic self so they can make another person like them more. The problem with this dating approach is that the person they are dating doesn’t get to know who they are and falls for a facade instead. 

Once their partner sees their genuine self, it’s like a bait and switch, and they end up leaving the relationship because they realize they didn’t fall for the real person. These kinds of relationships usually last about 2 to 3 months, as that is usually how long it takes to see a person’s genuine flaws.

While it’s important to be mindful of other people’s feelings, you should never sacrifice your own truth. Learning to express yourself authentically can lead to deeper and more fulfilling relationships and bring in a partner that will like you for your genuine self. 

Being too nice might seem like a positive trait, but it can actually be detrimental to your life and relationships. By recognizing the signs of being too nice and making an effort to set healthy boundaries and prioritize your own needs, you can improve your own life and the lives of those around you. 

Remember, you’re allowed to say no, prioritize your own needs, and express your true thoughts and feelings. Learning to be assertive and authentic can lead to more fulfilling relationships and a happier life overall. If you need support with learning to have your own voice, I’m here to help you express it. Schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review with me here. 

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