The Biggest Obstacle to Finding Real Love

Do you know where scientists say the head shake for saying NO comes from? We developed it as infants at times when our parents feed us or give us something we don’t want and we turn out heads.

It’s a simple move that tells our parents, we don’t want anything. By the time we hit those terrible twos language comes into play and the shake of the head adds a partner. The single word, that if you master the use of can changes your dating life.

The word is “No!”

As a relationship coach, I see how often my clients fail to properly implement this word in their dating life, thus becoming one of their biggest obstacles to finding true love. Simply put, to get what you really want out of love, you must say “No” to what you don’t want. It may sound simple, but it sure isn’t easy for many daters out there.

During my single days, I sure settled for less than what I really wanted many times, all because I could not say “No” to the things that clearly were bad for me. The “Yes” word is such an easy word to follow because it makes us feel good.

We want to feel good so we chase the “Yes”. “No”, on the other hand, is much harder to say because of things like fear of being alone, hating the dating world, being ok with letting the status quo get in the way.

Oh, how many relationships with Mr. Wrong you could avoid if you gain control of the use of that seemingly insignificant two-letter word “NO.” I could have found the love of my life much sooner.

If I were to go back in time and ask myself, what could I have done differently? Honestly, probably nothing. I had lessons I needed to learn, a journey I was destined to take that led me to find the love of my life and the life that I love.

What are my learning lessons and takeaways?

Every choice has long-term consequences.
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
I listened to my fears and doubts way too much.
My choices and results are a direct reflection of how worthy I feel and how well I’m taking care of myself.
I was worried about making everyone happy and forgot about myself
Being my authentic self was what made me stand out from the crowd

But before I could change my attitude towards dating and life in general. I had to pay attention to the garbage I was telling myself. Let me know if any of these sounds familiar to you.

No one out there is for me, I’ll have to be alone
I’ll have to settle for a relationship.
I’m tired of looking, dating will never work for me.
I won’t find anything/anyone better.
I’d rather have this now than nothing at all.
I don’t deserve true happiness.
70% is good enough.

Looking at these statements now, it’s easy to see they’re all FALSE. Back then, I knew I was telling myself these things, but my self-awareness was dim, and my self-esteem, low enough that I allowed them to dictate my attitude and choices towards dating.

What could I have done differently during this time? Simple. Have confidence that I deserve 100% of what I want and nothing less.

All the times I talked myself into accepting 70% prevented me from finding and experiencing my 100%. This hit home for me when I broke up with a 70% relationship and then met the man I was destined to marry just a few months later. It’s like I finally passed a cosmic test of some kind.

I now recognize the biggest secret to finding true love is to love myself enough to fiercely go after 100% for what I truly want and believe that’s possible.

You deserve to love and be loved the way you want. I’d LOVE to help you. Schedule a FREE Relationship Readiness review with me HERE or feel free to grab my FREE ebook 5 Dating Traps Keeping You Single HERE.

I leave you with some mantras I said out loud to myself to manifest the love I deserved.

Fiercely believe “I deserve to love and be loved unconditionally.”

Fiercely believe “I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.”

Fiercely believe “I have the right to be myself, not acting for the benefit of others.”

And, fiercely believe “I deserve to be happy.”

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