Online Dating Steps to Go from Texts to Dates
It’s exciting to make a connection online with someone that you have never met before, but the real challenge comes when trying to transition from messaging to meeting. Whether it’s fear or rejection or just now knowing what to say to move the connection along.
It’s okay to feel nervous and unsure of how to take things to the next level. But don’t worry – in this post, I’ll give you some tips and advice to help make the transition a bit smoother.
1. Move Things Offline Gradually
Don’t rush to meet someone in person right away. Wait maybe three days of messaging to move the conversation to text and do a virtual first date “online meetup.” Take time to get to know them through text messaging and video chats for three or four more days until you decide to meet in person.
Video chats are great for gauging chemistry and connection. In a recent study about video chats, they saw a “175 percent increase in their regular live video usage in the last three years,” so it is pretty common to do video chats rather than voice calls these days.
When you start to see the conversation run stale, this is the sign that it is time to move to the next steps of connecting in person.
The video date will also give you a better idea of whether or not you are compatible and whether you are both serious about meeting. Once you feel comfortable, start making plans to meet in person. Suggest a public place where you both feel safe and secure.
If you are struggling with finding great video date ideas. Here are 10 creative ways to spice up your Zoom dates! (Article continued below).
2. Be Open and Communicative
The second thing you need to do is make sure that your potential date is on the same page as you. Clearly communicate your intentions and ask about theirs. Do a check-in and ask them… say, “It seems we have a connection here. Would you be interested in meeting in person, or is this too soon?”
Gauge to see what their answer is. If they say yes.. then ask them when would be a good time and where? Another important tip is that gender roles do not apply when it comes to being asked out online.
Women can be the first ones to engage with the questions. In fact, Match.com did a study where they found that “91 percent of men are super cool with a woman making the first move.”
So take a chance and make the first move. You’ll be going on a bunch of in person dates in no time.
3. Trust Your Gut
While it’s important to be open and communicative, it’s also important to listen to your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it. Trust your instincts and make sure to take precautions.
Don’t be afraid to speak up. If you want to meet somewhere in the middle, say so. Don’t feel that you need to people please to make someone like you. Dating is about mutual effort, and relationships are about compromise. So start with teaching others how to treat you early on.
Safety is essential. You must always meet someone new for the first time in a public place and let a friend or family member know where you will be. Share the person your meeting with’s info to your trusted friend or family member.
If you feel uncomfortable at any point, don’t hesitate to cut the date short.
4. Keep Expectations Low
Although it’s easy to get carried away with the excitement of a new relationship, it’s important to keep your expectations in check. Remember you are meeting the sales representative. If they like you, they are going to try to impress you!
Your goal is to “be the chooser,” and your expectation is to see who this person really is when they are not trying to impress you. Also, just because there was chemistry online doesn’t always mean there will be chemistry in person. In my Conscious Dating Programs, I normally have my clients meet for a 30-minute to an-hour coffee or happy hour meetup to see if there is even a connection.
If there isn’t, no major time is lost, and you gain an experience of what you don’t want in a future partner.
5. Be Authentic
Last but not least, show up as your authentic self! This is your opportunity to show your date your true personality and to let them get to know the authentic you. Are you a board game nerd? Then admit it! Do you love going to magic shows, and it’s your thing? Then own it!
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, as this will only end up causing stress and anxiety in the long run. We often fall in the Marketing Trap because we feel like we need to sell ourselves and be different.
This is a big mistake because someone should like you for ALL of you, flaws and all. If your date likes a fake version of you, you will eventually be unable to keep the charade going. The bait and switch will finally be revealed. You might as well show up as your true self and find people that love you for that.
Moving from messaging to meeting doesn’t have to be a nerve-wracking experience. Remember the crucial step in any online dating relationship is to create a connection. If you’re struggling with making the type of connections you want in your life, Schedule a Free Relationship Readiness review with me here. I can help. Best of luck to you on your online dating journey!