Why Do My Relationships Fizzle So Quickly?
Simple answer, sometimes lust is easily mistaken for compatibility. When two people meet for the first time and sparks fly instantly, it can feel like love at first sight. You find yourself enamored and text each other non-stop, have long conversations over the phone, and anxiously waiting for your next date.
You might even find yourself stuck inside your head, over analyzing about each move you make. Chemicals and hormones pumping through your body, making you feel “high on love” and you hear that little voice in your head say, “This is the one!”
2 to 3 months go by, then something strange happens, the “honeymoon phase” is over. Things begin to fizzle, the long conversations start to fade, when you do speak, it’s mostly complaints, you feel neglected and fear the relationship is nearing its end. The relationship eventually ends and feelings are hurt.
The last thing you want to do is relive this relationship cycle again. So how do you avoid falling into this Dating Trap again? I say, side table the chemistry and focus on common values. One of the main reasons relationships fizzle quickly is due to the lack of similar core values. By slowing things down, you’re going to have a much longer-lasting relationship even after the “honeymoon phase” is over. Trust me, if there is sexual chemistry, it’s going to be even stronger when you find out you’re a good match.
So the big question is, “How can I find out their core values?” The answer is to focus on the inner qualities of a person. Not solely on the exterior qualities like “Rich and good looking”.
Some important questions to think about while dating:
• What makes them passionate about their chosen career?
• What is their relationship like with their family?
• How do they handle finances? – Meaning, are they a saver or a spender?
• Describe their ideal relationship?
• Do they want a family of their own? Children?
• What does marriage mean to them?
• How important is spirituality or religion to them?
• How do they deal with conflict and communication?
The most important key is to see how aligned, they are with you in these areas, if you both find common ground on most values, you’ll have a higher chance of having a long-lasting relationship.
Want to find out how READY you are for love? Take my Relationship Readiness Quiz here.
