Four Reasons Dating Skills Should Be Taught in Schools

It’s interesting that in school, we take such a wide range of classes to teach us about things we will need in life to function in society and get that good job, but they never really teach us how to date and build relationships. I mean, I would argue that there is no bigger choice in our life than who we choose to marry yet most of us are taught virtually no skills on how to get there.

They pretty much send us out into the dating world with little or no knowledge of how to attract, treat, or date potential partners. Sure, some schools teach sex education, but even the small percentage that still does, they don’t explain “the why,“ we should engage in sex with our partner in any way. They teach us “the how” in order to prevent disease and/or pregnancy.

I just wish there was a way to teach our kids relationship skills too, since it is so important to the overall happiness of our lives. Think about it, the people we choose to date/marry can be in our lives for years if not decades (way longer than most jobs) yet so few of us out there ever get the tools to improve the chances we will make good dating choices followed by choosing a great life partner.

And yes, the tools are out there. Programs like my Conscious Dating Coaching, is just one of the many relationship building platforms that can help us learn these skills as adults. So with that here is my top Four Reasons Dating Skills Should Be Taught in Schools.

Sometimes Parents are NOT the Best Role Models

The divorce rate in the US has been somewhat of a moving target over the past half century, but it’s safe to say that anywhere from 35-50% of all marriages have ended in divorce.

Throw in the fact that so many children have grown up in homes with parents who are unhappily married, and you have very few parents who are showing their kids what a quality relationship looks like.

In a nutshell so few children are directly or indirectly shown by their parents what a bad relationship looks like so most never develop healthy relationship skills to find and experience a “good” relationship.

Just take the alarming statistic that if you are abused by your parents, you are more likely to end up in an abusive relationship. This one stat alone shows the significant power our parents have on our dating choices.

However, I’ve seen clients that that came from an abusive background, find and pick a healthy relationship by improving on their dating and relationship skills in conjunction with working with a professional licensed therapist to heal their trauma.

One of my clients came from such a background and was divorced for many years with her narcissistic husband that continually gaslighted and disrespected her. She struggled seeing the light again when it came to dating and falling in love.

Although, she was a high powered lawyer, she felt her identity was lost because she was busy raising her children and trying to be a wife in a struggling marriage.

We spent 6 months together on helping her “date herself” and find her identity again. That’s when she woke up and realized, her husband was never a fit, her kids and her deserved more. And in a short amount of time, she found an amazing guy that is not only a great role model to her kids but also a wonderful life partner that supports her.

By teaching relationship tools in schools and at home, it allows for ALL children to learn what a quality relationship can look like no matter what their family upbringing is.

It Could Decrease the Divorce Rate 

As we just noted above the divorce rate is far too high in the US. That is because far too many people enter into marriages without really knowing what they require in a partnership to be happy. In my Conscious Dating Programs, I teach clients about their Non-Negotiables.

As its namesake indicates, these are things you must have in a relationship to be happy or it just won’t work. There is NO room for negotiation. They are things like, “He or she treats me like a priority” or “He or she is financially stable and responsible”.

Generally my clients have about 10 to 15  of these Non-Negotiables and when ANY ONE of them is NOT met, they should not enter or remove themselves from that relationship.

Sure children don’t have the same thoughts, desires or requirements as their adult selves, but just teaching them about Non-negotiables as a concept and get them to start thinking about what is needed to create a quality relationship would do wonders for their overall dating outlook.

And when that happens, better choices can be made, leading to less bad relationships, hopefully resulting in less divorce.(Continued below).

It Will Help in Life as Well as Dating

As a Relationship Coach I not only teach how to sort through potential partners, but also sort through the negative influences in our lives in general.

So many of my clients have family and friends that have talked down to them, it is no wonder they can’t find a good partner. Maybe the family and friends are too negative or place an unnecessary burden on them, but whatever it is, it’s important to limit the amount of contact with these people.

For example, one client’s mother always told her she wasn’t pretty enough or smart enough to find someone of quality. That she had to take what she could get. For many years she settled with three divorces under her belt. Things didn’t begin to change until we started working together.

To me, she was a successful business woman, achieved a great deal, and was beautiful inside and out. She just needed someone to help her recognize her true value and work on shifting her mindset, especially when it came to dating. She gained her self-confidence back and she finally met someone that was an equal and treated her with respect.

Every relationship we have should be with people who make our life a better one. By teaching young people the acceptable tools to test a friendship to see if it’s a positive one or a negative would change all their relationships and help them in dating at the same time. Most importantly, to be more authentic and stop being people pleasing.

When it comes to boyfriends and girlfriends or friendships or any other relationship its always about one question, overall are they making my life better? And when the answer is “no” it’s time to move on.

It Would Make People Happier

You don’t have to look any further to the amount of heartbreak bad dating choices brings to the world then the song world. Titles like “Achy Breaky Heart”, “Un-Break My Heart”, and “I Can’t Make You Love Me” are part of a legion of songs that come from, or pay homage to, failed relationships all over the world.

There is no way to eliminate all heartbreak of course, but by cutting down the number of times that it happens and the amount of time people spend in unhealthy relationships, it can only have a positive effect.

And when dating overall is easier and there is less heartache, it’s safe to say that people are happy more and sadly that means those songwriters will get the message and maybe start changing their tune.

It’s never too late to improve on your dating and relationship skills. If you’ve shown success in other areas of your life, then I have no doubt you can learn this too! Schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review with me at www.meetwithamie.com, and lets see how I can help. Talk soon!