Is it Love or Lust? Five Ways to Tell if Your Relationship is the Real Deal
In this topsy-turvy dating world so many of us have been duped into thinking we are in love, when the fact of the matter is we are really just in lust.
The fog between lust and love can be tough to see through mainly because our body actually can play tricks on us without us even knowing. There is a total of 14 Dating Traps in my Conscious Dating Programs but I like to call this the “Sex Dating Trap”.
Did you know that during those first few months of a hot and heavy sexual relationship, our brains can release the same pleasure chemicals that cocaine does?
That’s right, the feeling we get from lust can be powerful as a drug.
And it doesn’t only happen to those few dates either since it can take a year or more before our bodies stop producing chemicals that draw us towards this person.
So how are you able to decipher if you are in deep “love” with someone or just in a temporary ‘”lust” phase.
It all starts with being intentional in your dating life, by paying attention date to how you feel and act around the people you date. So here are the top five ways to tell if you are in “love” or in “lust”…
Does He Bring Out the Best in You?
When you are in love with the person across from you, he should for the most part bring out the best in you. That means you like who you are and the choices you make when you are around them.
If you find that you are with someone who has that magnetic hold on you, but when you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see then you know what kind of relationship you are dealing with?
Are There Major Red Flags You’re Ignoring?
Great sex and chemistry can be wonderful in a relationship, but it by no means will be the cornerstone of a strong, long-term relationship.
This requires that all your Non-negotiables (aka deal breakers) are met and that the person you are dating is not a work-in-progress with all the potential in the world, rather they currently have all the things you want and need to create that forever relationship. If you want to learn the green flags, here is a video I did below.
Do You See Yourself With Him in 5 Years?
When you are in lust your present can be filled with intense joy and happiness. The question the smart dater still asks is whether they see this happiness continuing in 5 years or 10?
Is Your Connection Just as Strong After the Sweat Dries?
Steamy, passionate sex can be intoxicating to be sure, but what happens to your relationship moments after?
Do you have great conversations and build connections or is there silence and/or awkward moments of conversation?
Good communication is key to any long-term relationship and that goes for those moments after the passion dies down as well.
What Does Your Gut Say?
Far too often the singles I work with talk about past failed relationships and point out how they could have eliminated months or years of dating anguish if they just had listened to their gut.
All of us have that little voice in our head that tells us when something is right or whether something is wrong.
When you are in lust often times you know it because that little voice tells you so, that’s why it’s so important to listen and act accordingly.
If you’re constantly in self-doubt about whether your relationships fall under lust or love, I can help you have clarity, schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review with me here.