• HOME
  • ABOUT ME
  • WORK WITH ME
    • COACHING PROGRAMS
    • PRODUCTS
  • BLOG
    • DATING BLOG
    • SEX, LOVE, & MINDFUL DATING PODCAST
    • WORLD’S GREATEST LOVE STORIES PODCAST
  • DATING MEDIA INTERVIEWS
  • TESTIMONIALS

Amie Leadingham - Amie the Dating Coach | Master Certified Relationship Coach | Online Dating Expert | Author

  • HOME
  • ABOUT ME
  • WORK WITH ME
    • COACHING PROGRAMS
    • PRODUCTS
  • BLOG
    • DATING BLOG
    • SEX, LOVE, & MINDFUL DATING PODCAST
    • WORLD’S GREATEST LOVE STORIES PODCAST
  • DATING MEDIA INTERVIEWS
  • TESTIMONIALS
Blog / connections / dating / Dating Tips / Featured Post / Holidays / Law of Attraction / Red Flags / Self Esteem

3 Steps to Jumpstart Your Love Life During the Holidays

I remember as a little girl my parents taking me to the mall to meet Santa Claus for the first time. The plan, like for any young child meeting St. Nick was pure and simple, sit on his lap for a few moments and tell him what I wanted for Christmas. Then, just wait for Christmas morning to come and voila, everything I asked for was sitting right there for me to open and enjoy.

Oh, if the dating world was always just that simple… just ask a man in a velvet red and white suit what you wanted in a husband. Wake up to find him wrapped and ready to enjoy for the rest of your life.

Unfortunately, there is no dating Santa Claus, but there’s one part of this story that can help you find the man of your dreams: signaling to yourself and to the world exactly what you want in a partner. Rather than sending negative signals out of what you DON’T want.

As a Master Certified Relationship Coach, I can tell you almost all of the singles that come to me, not with a list of what they want in a partner, rather what they have a long list of what they DON’T want.

This disparity in wording may not seem important, but I assure you when it comes to dating mindset and understanding exactly what you need to do to find true love, it is immensely important.

There is scientific proof to back this up too, in the form of a groundbreaking study about the importance and power of a positive mindset.

Your dating mindset matters, so to wake up each morning with one that holds you back in your dating life instead of propelling you forward is not only counterproductive, but can also put a damper on your dating results.

Finding your IDEAL partner begins with understanding your relationship NON-NEGOTIABLES (deal breakers). In my Conscious Dating Programs, these are the values, behaviors, and qualities you MUST have in a partner and relationship, or that relationship will fail every time.

Most singles I work with have about 10 to 15 of them, but when they are clear and understand them, it is the most valuable tool in their dating arsenal. And most importantly, this list always consists of the things you DO want, not the things you DON’T WANT.

Your road to getting a better understanding of your relationship non-negotiables and developing a positive dating mindset can start today. So here are a few things you can do to jump start your love life today. (Continued below).

1) Make your Non-negotiables List of Your IDEAL Partner

Sit down and make a list of all the qualities (these are not exterior traits like he’s tall or she has blonde hair) and how you want in a partner to treat you in a relationship. Remember, only write down the things you want, not the things you don’t want. If you need a little help with figuring this out, feel free to contact me.

2) Say Daily Affirmations of Gratitude

Research shows that daily affirmation around things you value can actually boost your self-worth. And when it comes to dating, it’s important to feel confident in yourself and have a positive mindset.

So take out your pen and paper, make a list of the things you feel most grateful for and give gratitude. Every morning when you wake up say it in front of the mirror. For example, I’m grateful for my health, I’m grateful for my family, I’m grateful for my body, I’m grateful for my home.

It may feel awkward at first, but consider this reprogramming your mindset. You’re developing a new habit to focus on the positive things in your life that move you forward, rather than anchoring in the negative thoughts.

3) Surround Yourself with Positive People

Take a look at the people around you in your life. Take note of how they talk about interact with the world. Do they tend to complain a lot? Do you often have negative conversations with them?

Do you think they would be a person to push you forward on your goal to be more positive and get the partner of your dreams?

Ask these questions and then start spending more time with the positive people in your life and less time with the negative ones.

At the end of the day, there’s only one person who can help you on your journey to find love and happiness… and that is YOU. And this journey can start today if you make the choice (and it is a choice) to be more positive and lay a simple path to achieve the goals you set out for yourself.

Remember, Santa Claus may not be real and may not be able to help you find love, but during this holiday season you can sit down, self-reflect, and really ask yourself what you want in a partner.

This is your first step to finding your soul partner, I promise, before long you will be unwrapping that greatest gift of all… sharing your love with your soulmate.

If you’d like to get clear about your relationship non-negotiables, I’m here to help. Schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review here.

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Share
related posts

You May Also Like

10 Places to Meet Quality Singles In Person

July 19, 2021

The Secret to Successful Communication in Any Relationship

June 11, 2019

5 Signs Someone Really Likes You

May 9, 2025

Search Blog Topic

Recent Blog Posts

  • 5 Signs Someone Really Likes You
  • How and When to Ask Someone Out from a Dating App
  • Five Qualities That Make You More Attractive
  • Why Too Much Empathy Can Destroy You: 5 Signs and How to Stop It
  • Overcome the Fear of Abandonment in a Relationship
  • Top 3 Dating Apps for a Serious Relationship
  • Why You Attract Avoidant Partners Who Pull Away (And How to Stop)
  • How to be Vulnerable with Someone You Just Started Dating
  • How to Avoid Getting Stuck in Situationships
  • Dating with Herpes: Finding Love and Self-Acceptance

Instagram

✨ A day late but the love is just as strong! Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful mom! ✨

Couldn’t let today pass without shouting out the woman who’s been my rock through it all. Thanks for always believing in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.

Your wisdom, your laugh, your incredible strength – you amaze me every day. So blessed to call you Mom.

Love you beyond words! ❤️

#HappyMothersDay #BestMomEver #Blessed #FamilyFirst​​​​​
amiethedatingcoach
amiethedatingcoach
•
Follow
✨ A day late but the love is just as strong! Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful mom! ✨ Couldn’t let today pass without shouting out the woman who’s been my rock through it all. Thanks for always believing in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. Your wisdom, your laugh, your incredible strength – you amaze me every day. So blessed to call you Mom. Love you beyond words! ❤️ #HappyMothersDay #BestMomEver #Blessed #FamilyFirst​​​​​
3 days ago
View on Instagram |
1/5
Speak Up to Express Your Needs! Ever notice how waiting for “the right time” to express your needs often means they never get addressed? I share my journey of realizing that while we should avoid conversations when emotions are flooding, consistently postponing our needs leads to dangerous resentment. 

Learn the balance between giving space during heightened emotions and still honoring your boundaries through calm, intentional conflict. Discover how speaking up prevents resentment while still respecting emotional states—a critical skill for healthier relationships.

#RelationshipAdvice #HealthyBoundaries #ExpressingNeeds #EmotionalRegulation #PreventingResentment #HealthyConflict #RelationshipCommunication #EmotionalIntelligence #SettingBoundaries #ConflictResolution #RelationshipTips #EmotionalFlooding #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipPsychology #CalmDiscussions #AvoidingResentment #HealthyArguing #RelationshipHealing #CommunicationSkills #EmotionalAwareness
amiethedatingcoach
amiethedatingcoach
•
Follow
Speak Up to Express Your Needs! Ever notice how waiting for “the right time” to express your needs often means they never get addressed? I share my journey of realizing that while we should avoid conversations when emotions are flooding, consistently postponing our needs leads to dangerous resentment. Learn the balance between giving space during heightened emotions and still honoring your boundaries through calm, intentional conflict. Discover how speaking up prevents resentment while still respecting emotional states—a critical skill for healthier relationships. #RelationshipAdvice #HealthyBoundaries #ExpressingNeeds #EmotionalRegulation #PreventingResentment #HealthyConflict #RelationshipCommunication #EmotionalIntelligence #SettingBoundaries #ConflictResolution #RelationshipTips #EmotionalFlooding #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipPsychology #CalmDiscussions #AvoidingResentment #HealthyArguing #RelationshipHealing #CommunicationSkills #EmotionalAwareness
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
2/5
When we truly become still and listen to understand others, something magical happens. By setting aside our mental chatter and focusing completely on what someone else is saying, we create a space of genuine connection.

Active listening isn’t just waiting for your turn to speak. It’s being fully present—noticing not just their words, but their tone, their body language, what remains unsaid. When we listen this deeply to others, we’re actually strengthening our ability to tune into our own inner voice.

Think about it: each time you quiet your mind to truly hear someone else, you’re practicing the very skill needed to hear yourself clearly. The mental stillness required for deep listening becomes a pathway to self-understanding.

Try this today: in your next conversation, take a deep breath and intentionally slow down. Notice when your mind starts forming responses before they’ve finished speaking. Gently return to simply being with their words. This same practice of quieting the noise helps us recognize our own inner wisdom when we need it most.

The gift of your complete attention is precious—both to others and to yourself.

#DeepListening #ActiveListening #InnerVoice #BeStill #MindfulConnections #ListenToUnderstand #MentalStillness #PresentMoment #ConsciousConversation #SelfAwareness #MindfulListening #AuthenticConnection #SlowDown #QuietTheMind #ListeningSkills #RelationshipWisdom #EmotionalIntelligence #MindfulCommunication #SoulfulListening #InnerWisdom
amiethedatingcoach
amiethedatingcoach
•
Follow
When we truly become still and listen to understand others, something magical happens. By setting aside our mental chatter and focusing completely on what someone else is saying, we create a space of genuine connection. Active listening isn’t just waiting for your turn to speak. It’s being fully present—noticing not just their words, but their tone, their body language, what remains unsaid. When we listen this deeply to others, we’re actually strengthening our ability to tune into our own inner voice. Think about it: each time you quiet your mind to truly hear someone else, you’re practicing the very skill needed to hear yourself clearly. The mental stillness required for deep listening becomes a pathway to self-understanding. Try this today: in your next conversation, take a deep breath and intentionally slow down. Notice when your mind starts forming responses before they’ve finished speaking. Gently return to simply being with their words. This same practice of quieting the noise helps us recognize our own inner wisdom when we need it most. The gift of your complete attention is precious—both to others and to yourself. #DeepListening #ActiveListening #InnerVoice #BeStill #MindfulConnections #ListenToUnderstand #MentalStillness #PresentMoment #ConsciousConversation #SelfAwareness #MindfulListening #AuthenticConnection #SlowDown #QuietTheMind #ListeningSkills #RelationshipWisdom #EmotionalIntelligence #MindfulCommunication #SoulfulListening #InnerWisdom
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
3/5
Being Too Understanding? It’s Hurting You! 🥹

There’s a fine line between being compassionate and being a doormat. Learn when empathy goes too far!

#lackofboundaries #lackofrespect #peoplepleasing #letthem #mentalhealth #selfawareness #datingadvice
amiethedatingcoach
amiethedatingcoach
•
Follow
Being Too Understanding? It’s Hurting You! 🥹 There’s a fine line between being compassionate and being a doormat. Learn when empathy goes too far! #lackofboundaries #lackofrespect #peoplepleasing #letthem #mentalhealth #selfawareness #datingadvice
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
4/5
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! 

Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them!

Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕

#datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
amiethedatingcoach
amiethedatingcoach
•
Follow
I’m so excited 🎉 to share my interview with @thecut alongside Dating Coach, Grace Lee, about summer date ideas! Whether you’re just starting a summer fling or you’ve been with your partner forever, I share tons of ideas that’ll get you out of that boring dinner-and-movie rut. Make sure you check out the article to see all of our recommendations. I think you’re going to love them! Let me know which date idea you try first! 💕 #datingideas #dateideas #firstdates #summerdates #datingadviceformen #datingadvice #creativedateideas
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
5/5
@amiethedatingcoach
  • HOME
  • ABOUT ME
  • WORK WITH ME
  • BLOG
  • DATING MEDIA INTERVIEWS
  • TESTIMONIALS

© 2025 - Amie Leadingham - Amie the Dating Coach, LLC - All Rights Reserved | LEGAL Site Powered by Pix & Hue.

ACCEPT
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience. By continuing to browse the site, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Cookie settings
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT