10 Ways to WIN on the First Date

With the new year coming upon us, many of you may have made the resolution to make dating and finding your forever relationship a priority in your life now.

As a Relationship Coach, I know there is a spike in people dating online right before the holidays. So of course, this means you should be putting yourself out there right now! 🎉

And since every committed relationship must start with a “First Date”, I wanted to put together a list of some important first date tips and tricks to help find dating success this year.

1)  Keep the Expectations Low

It’s important to have a positive attitude when dating, but it is as important to keep your expectation level in check.

By dating with a more “open and not attached” attitude, it will not only allow you to avoid disappointment when things don’t work out as you had hoped, but also allow you to have more fun in the process.

2)  Keep the Fun Factor High

Studies show that as the excitement level in a date goes up, so do the chances for making a real connection. This means that the standard dinner and a movie date may not be your best bet for finding love.

When in the planning stages for a date, see if you can steer the venue to somewhere you enjoy that may add to the date’s excitement level like a cooking class or a bike ride.

3)  Be the Chooser

Far too many daters feel that it’s the other person who must choose them, rather than the other way around.

As a Conscious Dater, it’s so important to the dating process to know that you not only deserve someone special, but you have the right to choose that person. So when you go on your first dates remember, you are there to choose them, not the other way around.

4)  Be Your Authentic Self

Much of the dating advice out there consists of the old adage of “always be yourself”. I prefer to say it’s much better to be your authentic self.

Authenticity means that you don’t just show the person the best parts of you, but you show them who you are, flaws and all.

Far too many daters try to hide the parts of them that may not show them in the best light, but if you’re going to find a committed, joyful relationship, it’s those parts that are going to need to be front and center anyway so why hide them.

5)  Date Safe

Dating today is so much different than dating 20 years go or even 5 for that matter. With the advent of online dating and dating apps, people are taking less time to meet and even less time to share important parts of their life.

So make sure you initiate safe dating practices into your dating life like doing some research on your date (i.e. googling or asking mutual friends about them), and/or not sharing where you live by meeting them at a neutral location (article continued below).

6)  Don’t Talk about The Exes

Oversharing about your past relationships on a first date is just a no-no for many reasons.

Mainly because it can lead you into a place where you are being too emotional or too negative.

The goal on first dates is to be positive and have a good time, so unless your last break up ended with rainbows and sunshine, save those kind of talks for a later date.

7)  Listen More Than You Speak

It’s such a shame that listening to others talk is such a lost art. Talking about yourself is fine as long as you balance it out with plenty of questions with attentive listening that follows.

The whole point of dating is to see if your date will be a good match. How else will you find this out without asking him or her questions?

8)  Be on Time

Fashionably late may be something that is cute in the movies, but doesn’t underestimate how showing up late can cause you to lose a chance at a quality partner.

Tardiness immediately starts the date off on the wrong foot by telling your date that your time is more valuable than theirs and when that happens even the most forgiving people may decide it’s over before it’s even gotten started.

9)  Slow Down to Speed Up

In the beginning stages of dating, we all get so excited and chemistry is on high alert. It’s important to keep your hormones and chemicals in check though. Why?

Because it helps you make pragmatic decisions about choosing a long-lasting relationship.

My tip is to refrain from sex until you get your head wrapped around who you’re really dating. Sometimes we meet that “representative” then after the sexual encounter, we find out that our prospective partner is a total dud. Save your time and slow down till you meet the real person.

10) Know Your Non-negotiables

Non-negotiables are an extremely important part of my Conscious Dating Programs and when learned are game-changers for almost any single.

Non-negotiables are your 10-15 deal-breakers that you must have in a relationship for it to work. If even one of them is not met by the person across from you, then the relationship will fail every time.

They are not superficial not things like ‘tall’ or ‘drives an expensive car’, rather core values like ‘treats me like a priority’ or financial stable’.

So know your Non-negotiables and on that first date, plan to screen one or more of them against your date to see if a second date is even worth your time.

And if you need help with accountability, I’m here to help. Schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review with me here :).