The Purpose Of Being Single…

You’ll hear me say it again..”Being single is an opportunity, not a curse!” Let’s explore the GIFT and PURPOSE of being single.

One of the hardest things for me to accept is that I create my OWN outcomes, whether I like them or not, my failures as well as my successes.

Back when I was single I remember venting to my married friend, “Being single just sucks, why me?” I had a great thriving career, awesome friends, and quality men flirted with me but when it came to having a relationship with me, they ran the other way.

So instead I settled for relationships that totally unfulfilled me (btw..they never lasted). I found myself blaming exes and childhood experiences for my relationship issues.

Then reality hit me (like a ton of bricks), I must accept my life, and since I made my relationship choices, I can’t BLAME my exes, my mother, father, or anyone else for my outcomes.

FATE AND DESTINY

I strongly believe in taking ownership for my life, choices, and outcomes, so much so that I call it “The Most Important Relationship Skill”. While my actions and choices largely determine my outcomes, as silly and odd as it might be, I also believe in “fate” or “destiny,” that things happen as they’re meant to happen.

This force can also be called “The Law of Attraction,” which helps me to embrace and accept “what is,” believing that I’m exactly where I need to be, going where my life purpose needs to go.

I don’t believe in chance or randomness. Things happen for a reason. When something happens that I don’t like (a bad relationship, car accident, etc), I’ve found that if I ask myself, “What’s the purpose or reason for this event?” I can always come up with one pretty easily, especially if I’m honest with myself.

And darn it, the answer always seems to be something I need to learn, something the Universe is trying to teach me, that I’m resisting. As someone once said to me- “Each painful moment is an opportunity for new expansion.” I’ll try to remember that next time…

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

After 37 years on this planet I finally “got” that “what you resist, persists,” and learned to examine and accept life’s lessons. My attitude used to be “I know” and “I can handle it” and “I have it under control” (hey, at least it wasn’t…. “It’s their fault” and “Why me?” and “I deserve it!”). Now my attitude is a little more humble, such as “What do I need to learn?” and “What’s the reason or purpose behind this?”

I’m very clear now that my outcomes are determined by how I show up, which is largely driven by my attitudes. What’s inside shows up on the outside and what I’m thinking will become reality, so I must monitor and make conscious choices about what I allow my thoughts to focus upon.

Wow, not only do I NEED to take responsibility for my actions, I have to OWN the consequences of my private thoughts and beliefs!

THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION

If you’re single and would prefer to be in a fulfilling relationship, I’m playing with the idea that the most important coaching question for you is “Why are you single?”

“Why” doesn’t mean “What happened?” or “Whose fault is it?” In this case “Why” refers to big picture questions such as “What is the purpose or reason for you being single at this time in your life?” and “What do you need to learn that is getting in the way of your relationships?”

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO LEARN?

It would be my SINCERE pleasure to help you answer this question. Simply schedule a Relationship Readiness Review with me at www.meetwithamie.com and let’s finally get YOU the quality relationship you deserve.

Talk to you soon.