Brené Brown, Vulnerability, and the Key to Dating Success

For those of you who have not heard of Brené Brown, she is a research professor at the University of Houston, where she holds the Huffington Foundation-Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past sixteen years studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of three #1 New York Times bestsellers –The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly and Rising Strong.

Also, Brené’s TED Talk– The Power of Vulnerability is one of the top five most viewed Ted Talks in the world with over 30 million views and to me is one of the best. (For those of you not familiar with Ted Talk videos go check them out they are full of interesting topics/speakers.)

My husband and I went to see her speak. Her intelligence, honesty, and most importantly vulnerability is what makes her stand out in her field of academia, but also in the world of self-improvement.

According to Brené, “Vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. It’s that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control. In fact, vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center of meaningful human experiences. It’s the first thing I look for in you and the last thing I’m willing to show you. In you, it’s courage and daring. In me, it’s weakness.”

Most people don’t realize that being vulnerable is such an important part of successful relationship building. It can literally make or break you in ever finding the love you always wanted and deserve. That is why vulnerability is key when Conscious Dating.

For those that have true vulnerability, they are not only in a position for a successful love life, but are also able to draw quality people in their lives with surprising mastery. It’s like having a skeleton key to a “Positive-Relationship-Nirvana” where you instantly weed in the good ones who hold the same vulnerability key and weed out of the bad ones who lack it.

In addition, when we are vulnerable we take away the need to be perfect and accept failures and flaws in ourselves and in our lives in general. And when that happens, we accept, we understand, we learn and we can take what some view as a weakness and turn it into something the exact opposite… a strength.

So how does one become vulnerable? Here are the top 5 ways to achieve it.

1) Accept That You’re Worthy

We all have value, but it is not, until you alone, view yourself as a valued human being that deserves the best life has to offer that your journey begins.

2) When Feeling Vulnerable, Exposed, and Uncertain: Stop Resisting

When you feel these moments come on don’t run, don’t hide, just embrace it. Allow yourself to feel and accept it as a part of the new you.

3) Stop Worrying So Much About What Others Think of You

You’ll never please everyone and when you’re constantly worried about what others think of you it can only hold you back from finding the best you. Remember the only person who you need to impress is YOU.

4) Embrace Your Imperfections

Life isn’t perfect, nor are you. So things will not always go your way, and you need to embrace that and allow yourself the freedom to fail, learn, and grow because of it.

5) Share Your Feelings with Others You Trust

On this journey, you must find those around you who believe in your cause. Those that you can talk about your innermost feelings and desires. It doesn’t matter if it is a friend, a family member, a romantic partner or even a professional like a coach.

You become more aware of where you are, you will be more certain about what changes you would like to see in your life and then those changes will happen.

If you find this as one of your biggest challenges, please let me help. Schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review with me here.