Goodbye 2020, Hello Love and Happiness in 2021

2021 is just around the corner so for many of us that means saying to 2020 “good riddance!” Although our lives should change in no discernable way when the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, there is some comfort knowing that our future looks brighter. 2021 brings a vaccine, better weather, and some much-needed relief from the inconvenience and pain that this global pandemic unleashed upon us in 2020.

And if you are currently single and looking for love, 2020 was no doubt a trying year. Sure, there were some new ways to connect with other singles (insert Zoom-fatigue joke here), but dating during a global pandemic can sometimes feel like going swimming while wearing your winter clothes. Yeah, you can swim, but it sure isn’t the way you’re supposed to do it.

In my Conscious Dating Programs, singles learn how to become their best selves by truly loving themselves first and to attract quality partners no matter what’s going on in the world, but I too am ready to launch into 2021 with a new sense of vigor and purpose. My goal is to help singles around the globe look back on 2020 as the year before they found love.

So here are some of my recommendations for making 2021 the year you find your forever partner and the relationship you have always dreamed of and deserve.

Set up attainable short term goals – Sadly, I’m going to start you off with a somewhat sobering statistic about setting and achieving New Year’s resolutions. According to Statistic Brain by the first week, 27% of us give up whatever we’ve set out to do. At two-weeks, 31% of us quit, and about 50% of us make it to the one-month mark. And the D-Day for New Year’s Resolutions, well that seems to be January 17th as it’s the day most people give up on good intentions and fall back into old habits.

On a glass (almost) half-full note though, about 40% of us will still be continuing our resolution by the 6th-month mark. The point is if your long-term goal is to succeed in love, you need to make sure you set yourself up for success by giving yourself achievable short-term successes that will keep you motivated and your eye on the prize.

These short-term goals might be connecting with at least one potential partner a month or dropping a few pounds before Valentine’s Day or maybe trying a new dating website. Whatever your resolution is just make sure you set yourself up for a win and avoid making 2021 just another year.

Tweak Your Look

Starting 2021 with new psychological practices like a new positive mindset or a set of new achievable goals can possibly use a little push from the exterior world too. Changing a little something about your look to remind yourself that 2021 is the year of the “new you” can be just what the doctor ordered.

Maybe it’s a new hairstyle or hair color (my salon appointment is tomorrow btw). Or maybe it’s changing your makeup, or how much makeup you wear, to give your face a fresh new look. Whatever you change the point is for you to set the intention by creating a unified front of change for what’s going in between your ears with what’s going on outside of them.

Start Journaling

One of the things I send to each of my new clients when we start working together is a handmade burlap, a coffee-stained journal to get them to start writing down whatever comes out when they put pen to paper. Many studies have shown that journaling can not only help us clear our heads, and make significant connections between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, but will also help reduce the effects of mental illness.

Even though I’m a Dating Coach, I still get caught in the web of my own thoughts, journaling can help untangle that web and free your mind. The idea of the journal is to get all those thoughts out of your head so you can see them, feel them, and touch them. The writing then becomes therapeutic, cathartic, and can balance the soul in a way that most other forms of self-expression do not. And when you have a balance you make better choices in your dating life and your life in general.

Give Yourself Compliments

Many of us take the time to compliment others when we see something we like about them, but very few of us ever do the same when we see something we like about ourselves. Research shows that a little self-gratitude can make us feel happier and more satisfied and even help improve our sleep. I often recommend to my clients that they do at least one affirmation each morning before they begin their day. Simple affirmations like “I am patient and calm and looking forward to today” or “I feel healthy and strong today” can start the day off right by connecting and bonding you with the most important person in your life… you!

Drop the Devices (For a Bit)

I know this will be a tough one for many of you as I know we live in the digital age. At this point, our computers, Ipads, smartphones, are engrained into almost all our lives. That is ok, but what is not ok is when these very devices harm our lives. More and more I am starting to see the failures in a social media-driven lifestyle and the benefits of getting disconnected from our devices, even for a little while. Stepping away from your device to go on a walk or read a book or just sit alone quietly may be harder for some more than others, but making a conscious effort to stare at the screen less is the key. So in 2021 your best to monitor how much time you spend on your devices, as well as limit or avoid seeing any content that triggers you and takes you into a negative space.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

The idea of trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone is especially important if you want to make 2021 the year of “you.” It’s so easy to get caught up in doing the old same things, seeing the same old people, and feeling the same old things because, well, it’s easy. The problem with this “Ground Hog Day-themed” lifestyle is you fail to learn, fail to grow. Successful singles are always on the hunt for knowledge.

Knowledge not just in the exterior world around them, and but also deep within themselves. To do this it often means trying something new. For you, maybe it’s starting a new hobby like painting or pottery or taking that cooking class you’ve always wanted to. It could also mean going out with someone who is no your ‘type’. So many singles get caught up in what they think is right for them, rather than understanding that what is right for them and maybe outside what they’re generally comfortable with. Things like opening up your dating pool by expanding the age range or the race or the height of protentional dates may have been outside of your comfort zone in 2020, but in 2021 it’s time to redraw the lines.

Become an Expert in Dating

One of the biggest mistakes that so many singles that come to me make is they tend to blame the world for their lack of success in dating. It’s the pandemic, it’s the guys out there, it’s the dating platforms. I let them speak and then I point out that in reality, the only common denominator in their lack of dating success is well… themselves. Dating in 2021 needs to be about accountability and about you taking control of your dating life your dating choices.

And if you are someone like me who believes that to become an expert in something, you need 10,000 hours of practice then guess what, you better start practicing. I find it funny that so many professional singles out there will go into 10s or 100s of thousands of dollars into debt to go to school for years and years to learn a craft or career, but when it comes to finding love, they spend no time improving their knowledge and studying the skill of dating. They just wing it.

There are so many great ways to learn how to become a better, smarter dater out there including books, blogs, online dating classes. The bottom line is when you start treating dating like a vocation rather than a necessary inconvenience, success will soon follow.

I’m here to help if you need support, schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review with me here.