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Amie Leadingham - Amie the Dating Coach | Master Certified Relationship Coach | Online Dating Expert | Author

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Blog / confidence / connections / dating / Featured Post / Find Love / Law of Attraction / Self Esteem

The Secret to Attracting Quality: Like Attracts Like

As a Relationship Coach, I hear from many singles out there that they don’t enjoy the dating process, they downright hate it. I was a struggling single for years, so I can definitely relate to the failure to connect with the dating process.

That being said, low dating success rates are almost a foregone conclusion without the proper dating mindset.

Singles share with me the kind of person they want to attract, yet for some reason they rarely do or act like the person they want to attract into their lives. That’s why I always say, “Be an example of the type of person you want to attract.”

I’ll share this example with you, one former client said she wants a man who is “charitable” and “giving”, but when I asked her if she’s ever volunteered, she informed me she has not.

My response to her was simple, like attracts like, so if you want to meet charitable people, then you must go where they hang out.

Start doing charity work and volunteer your time with causes you care about. You will have a much better chance of meeting a charitable and generous partner that way.

I had another client who LOVED heavy metal music and would go to metal bars a lot to listen to live music. She was drawn to men in this world so she met her last few boyfriends at these bars, yet complained to me that they were always immature and emotionally unavailable. She wanted a boyfriend who was not those things.

I pointed out, there must be a reason you are attracting these men into your life, where are you meeting them? She began to see this pattern too and realized she could enjoy going to the bars and listen to music, but she didn’t have to only date men from there.

She diversified her dating pool by dating online and focused on men who were more mature, aligned with her values, and available. Eventually, she found one… and although he is not a metal-head, he is mature and good to her.

Like attracts like. By being an example of the type of person you want to attract, you start doing the work on the inside (your mindset), and then you can head outside (into the dating world) to implement what you want and need to make you happy.

If you want to attract a quality long-term commitment, start by shifting your mindset today. You should begin by thinking like the person you want to ATTRACT. If you want someone who is confident, and secure, and positive, then you need to be thinking this way in your mind too.

Start saying daily affirmations out loud to ingrain positive beliefs:
• I’m confident and happy with who I am
• I’m good enough and secure with myself and my choices
• I’m happy and in a good place in my life

With this mindset, you show up in the world saying, “I’m confident, positive, secure, approachable, and I’m happy.” And guess what? This mindset of being happy is contagious!

By using the Law of Attraction to your advantage, you’ll have the power to attract the very people, jobs, friends, and opportunities you want. If you’re struggling with the right mindset, schedule a Relationship Readiness Review with me here and let’s talk.

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The Dating Trap of Being Hyper Independent 💔

Your biggest strength can become your biggest weaknesses, especially when it comes to love. 

What’s one thing you can do to be a little bit more vulnerable today? I want to hear from you, leave a comment below. 

We talk more about this of my blog, the link is in the bio - https://amiethedatingcoach.com/hello-from-instagram

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The Dating Trap of Being Hyper Independent 💔 Your biggest strength can become your biggest weaknesses, especially when it comes to love. What’s one thing you can do to be a little bit more vulnerable today? I want to hear from you, leave a comment below. We talk more about this of my blog, the link is in the bio - https://amiethedatingcoach.com/hello-from-instagram #hyperindependence #traumaresponse #vulnerabilityisstrength #intimacy #connection
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Sometimes loving hard isn’t the problem… 👀. If you keep ending up hurt by the same kind of person, watch this. 

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Sometimes loving hard isn’t the problem… 👀. If you keep ending up hurt by the same kind of person, watch this. If you’re ready to break the cycle. Let’s connect. Link in bio. 💌 #emotionallyunavailable #attachmentstyles #datingadvice #toxicrelationship
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Want to stop falling for emotionally distant partners? Grab my FREE 5 Dating Traps ebook 👉 link in bio 💛

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The #1 Sign they’re Emotionally Available 👀 Want to stop falling for emotionally distant partners? Grab my FREE 5 Dating Traps ebook 👉 link in bio 💛 Link: https://amiethedatingcoach.com/hello-from-instagram #emotionallyavailable #emotionallyunavailable #healthyrelationships #anxiousattachment
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Who you share your love life with matters more than you think. 

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Today I’m humbled to share that @feedspotdotcom included me in their Top 70 Dating Instagram Influencers of 2026. 

Thank you to the Feedspot team for the thoughtful work behind this list, and for valuing real connection.

To this community, thank you for your trust, your stories, and your questions. This reflects you.

And I’m honored to be alongside so many creators I admire. Explore the full list 👇 link: https://influencers.feedspot.com/dating_instagram_influencers

If you want more support with Conscious Dating, comment below CONSCIOUS and I’ll send you my free ebook! 

#Feedspot #DatingCoach #RelationshipCoach #ModernDating
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Today I’m humbled to share that @feedspotdotcom included me in their Top 70 Dating Instagram Influencers of 2026. Thank you to the Feedspot team for the thoughtful work behind this list, and for valuing real connection. To this community, thank you for your trust, your stories, and your questions. This reflects you. And I’m honored to be alongside so many creators I admire. Explore the full list 👇 link: https://influencers.feedspot.com/dating_instagram_influencers If you want more support with Conscious Dating, comment below CONSCIOUS and I’ll send you my free ebook! #Feedspot #DatingCoach #RelationshipCoach #ModernDating
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