How Many Relationships Do You Need to Have Before Finding ‘The One’?

For anyone on the dating scene, it’s an age-old question: how many relationships do you need to go through before finding that special someone? According to Her, “The study of 2,000 adults who say they have already met ‘The One’, found that women will also go on seven dates – as well as a further two blind dates and two dates with someone they met over the internet. But men will enjoy eight dates, three blind dates, and meet three people online.”

From my experience as a Dating Coach, I know the journey of searching for “the one” can result in heartbreak and uncertainty along the way. But with every new relationship comes lessons learned as well as a better understanding of what makes us happy and fulfilled.

Why are some of us passing the seven to eight dates to find “The One”? Whether you’ve gone on countless dates or just starting out, this blog post will provide some advice to help make this process easier so you can find true love eventually.

Why Finding Love is So Challenging and the Need to Persevere

Finding love is one of the most important aspects of life. It provides us with companionship, security, and a sense of fulfillment that can be hard to come by elsewhere. But for many people, finding love can be one of the most difficult challenges they ever face. For some, it may seem like no matter how hard they try or what they do, love just won’t come their way.

A big part of the challenge comes from the fact that there are so many different factors at play when it comes to finding that special someone. It’s not just about looks or intelligence; it’s also about personality traits such as empathy and loyalty.

There are also external factors like age and location that can make someone more or less desirable. Singles can be judgemental towards each other, either being too picky or not picky enough. And sometimes, these may be coping habits could be for some singles to avoid getting hurt or feeling rejected.

Let’s be honest; it’s hard enough to put yourself out there in the first place, let alone deal with being turned down time after time. Rejection is never easy to take, but it’s an integral part of the process of finding love.

You can’t expect to find someone if you don’t take risks and reach out to potential partners. So don’t be afraid to get out there and try again—just remember that rejection doesn’t always mean bad news; sometimes it’s simply a sign that you need to keep looking for something better.

Ultimately, the best way to find love is through perseverance—the key is not giving up when things don’t seem to be going your way (or even if they do!).

Identify and Understand Your Needs and Desires in a Partner

When it comes to finding the right partner, in my Conscious Dating Programs I discuss the importance of having a clear idea of your needs and desires (this is your relationship vision). Knowing what you want in a relationship is key to finding someone who can meet those needs and make you happy.

Most singles I work with are unclear in this area and tend to have difficulty going deeper than surface-level conversations. There is a fear that a deep question will be returned to them, and they won’t know how to answer it.

Taking some time to identify and understand your needs and desires will help you determine whether or not someone is compatible with you. Most importantly, it helps build intimacy.

It’s essential to be honest with yourself when evaluating your needs in a partner. Think about not only the qualities that are important to you but also how much importance each quality holds for you.

For example, what similar values should you share with each other? Or is having an adventurous spirit more important? Do you need someone who is romantic and affectionate? Or is an intellectual connection more important? Figuring out which traits are most important for your happiness will give you an idea of what type of person you should be looking for.

It’s also helpful to think about the kind of lifestyle that would make both partners happy. Consider things such as living situations, hobbies, career aspirations, religious beliefs, interests, and family dynamics.

Identifying and understanding your needs and desires in a partner takes self-reflection, but it’s necessary if you want to find the right person for you. Taking the time now will help ensure that future relationships are healthy and fulfilling for both parties involved.

One thing to identify is if your partner is emotionally available. This can be tricky, so I have put together a video that dives in deeper for you! [Article Continued Below]

Be Open to Different People and “Types” while Dating

When it comes to dating, it’s important to be open to different people and “types.” This means that instead of writing someone off before you even get to know them, you should give them a chance if there is enough attraction.

You never know what might come out of it.

It’s not just about finding someone who has similar interests as you but also being able to appreciate the differences that make each person unique. If you want to find someone accepting of who you are and all your quirks, you might have to do the same for others.

Keeping an open mind allows for more possibilities and opportunities. Maybe your date isn’t as tall as you want, but you still find them attractive, and your values match, or maybe they don’t have the degree you expect, but they are super ambitious and financially responsible.

When we are open-minded while dating, it helps us create meaningful connections with someone that we may not have otherwise had if we were too closed off in our search criteria.

This doesn’t mean that we should settle for somebody who isn’t right. Ultimately, having an open mind makes us more receptive to potential partners and allows us to find true love more easily than if we were narrow-minded about the type of people we date.

Don’t Rush Into a Relationship Based on Chemistry, Focus on Aligned Non-negotiables

In a world that glorifies quick, fiery passions and immediate connections, it’s important to be aware of the potential pitfalls of rushing into relationships based solely on chemistry.

For example, when two people are attracted to each other and hit it off right away, they may feel an intense connection that overshadows their differences.

In reality, however, there are likely to be many fundamental values or non-negotiables that don’t align between them, which could lead to long-term disagreements and misunderstandings.

For successful relationships in the long run, both partners should carefully consider all aspects of the other person before committing. That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun together or share a strong physical connection; rather, it’s about having an honest conversation about your respective beliefs and backgrounds.

If one partner is more extroverted while the other is more introverted, for instance, you should discuss how you’ll make sure both individuals’ needs are met in day-to-day life.

In addition to talking about your personal values and goals for the future, it’s also important to talk about communication styles and expectations for things like spending time together versus alone. Setting expectations and having discussions about your future not only bring you closer but helps you develop intimacy.

Ultimately, if two people have different core beliefs (non-negotiables) that cannot be reconciled through dialogue or compromise—such as religious beliefs or political leanings—it might not be possible for them to create a lasting relationship together no matter how strong their chemistry may be.

Taking the time to get to know each other thoroughly helps ensure that couples understand what they’re getting into before any commitment is made.

By focusing on aligned non-negotiables early on in a relationship—rather than blindly following our hearts—we can better protect ourselves from heartache and have less conflict down the road.

Remember That True Love Takes Time, Patience, and Healthy Risks

When it comes to true love, it can be easy to get caught up in the fantasy of finding ‘the one’ and forget that it takes time, patience, and a healthy risk to put yourself out there.

The whole journey of looking for a partner can seem daunting, and it is important to understand that there will be challenges when taking that leap of faith.

It’s also important to practice patience when developing strong feelings for someone special as love doesn’t happen overnight. Chemistry may feel instant but true love takes time to foster.

Allow yourself time to see if these feelings grow over time, past the honeymoon phase. Like any good thing worth having, true love requires effort from both people involved. As long as efforts are being made and not one-sided, that is where trust begins to develop.

Finally, we come to the last point.

Finding love requires taking risks like being vulnerable enough to open up and let someone else into your world, trusting that they won’t hurt you or take advantage of your vulnerability.

There is still a chance that someone will take advantage but recognize that you are strong enough to create boundaries to stop them. Remember, it takes courage and strength to fall in love, so don’t be afraid! And if you need support, I’m here for you. Schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review with me here.